a story of forgiveness
Crew Life – when I started flying it was the most amazing experience. I loved going to new places, meeting new people and of course, all the parties!
At the time I had been married for about a year, our relationship was a bit shaky but we were ok, not rock solid, but ok, you could say there was room for improvement. I was in a good place with God. We were happy.
It took time to adjust to the cabin crew lifestyle as the hours were horrendous, your days and nights are so mixed up, I hardly had time for my husband, Clint. I’d be sleeping during the day and flying at night or vice versa. It put a lot of pressure on our relationship. I also started missing a lot of church due to having a flight or just needing to catch up on sleep. I was making excuses about not having time for God or for my husband.
Before I knew it I was spending all my free time with my cabin crew “friends” which caused so much trouble between Clint and I. None of them were saved of course But they understood how draining the job could be and the messed up hours that we flew, the crazy passengers onboard and honestly I thought they were just fun. We would go out for a “drink or two” but it would always end with us getting completely inebriated.
I never invited or included Clint in my plans. I stopped spending time with God, it was all about flying and where the next party was at. There were always excuses, I’m too tired, I need to sleep, I have a flight. My time was totally compromised.
Clint and I grew further and further apart, I could actually see a wall being built up between us. I felt so far away and distant.
After flying for about a year the fighting, arguing and the unfaithfulness just got too much and we separated with the intention of divorce.
While separated, if I wasn’t flying I’d be spending all my time with “friends” drinking, partying…etc…No time for GOD! It was such an empty, lonely lifestyle!
Things started going horribly wrong for me, financially and emotionally as well as with relationships and friendships. I was seeing my “friends” for who they really were. It all came to quite a shock as if lightning had struck me. So much time had passed and I had done nothing but ruin my marriage and intoxicated my life!
This was when I decided something has got to change, I can’t keep living this fake, empty, sinful life that was going nowhere and heading for destruction. My first step was to start spending time with God and getting to know him again. It was tough because my flesh was screaming to go out and drink, or to sleep for my flight, or to do anything but that. I literally had to force myself to listen to teachings and praise and worship music. I put it on my iPod so I’d listen to it in the car or at gym, all the time. I stopped listening to the radio or any secular music as I felt that I needed to go cold turkey. I eventually stopped drinking, I gave away (and drank) all my leftover alcohol. I also stopped going out with any of my crew friends. It was very difficult and very lonely but I can honestly say it was nowhere near the loneliness I had been feeling.
My next step, was a HUGE step, a life changing step! It was to reconcile with my husband. It was scary as we had been separated for a year and living totally separate lives. I wasn’t even sure he’d take me back especially after I’d hurt him so much. There was a lot of healing that needed to be done. I fought those feelings hard and wanted to run.
Making the decision to change and obey God was the best thing I’ve ever done. Clint and I have been back together for almost a year now and have given birth to a beautiful son, Riley Jay. We are more in love now than I ever thought possible. Since getting back together so many miracles have happened and God continues to shower us with His blessings. This has been an incredible journey!
I couldn’t be happier and more fulfilled..